My Understanding With Love.

I never liked sentence : He is the air that i breath. We talk on one mouth. He is my eyes and my ears.

Even it sounds wonderful to have such connected soulmate, i love to read behind lines and hidden notes are not so romantic. If he is the air you breath, it means you can’t breath independent. You can’t walk without leash and you can’t see more than he wants to show you.

Healthy relation is connection between two strong, independent minds. I love my partner’s differences. I love his freedom space, i love his silence even he doesn’t want to let me into his world. I found this as adrenalin, as challenge and i wish to dare. I offer something for return, i offer my hot temper and my wish for arguing. Even we sound as two lunatic, one numb and other mad hater, we will never get bored. I will try to smash his wall, and he will try to watering my fire.

Sometimes it looks like it is third world war between us. We hate each other, we try to destroy all nice between us. Or we just run from boredom, because boredom is love killer?

I love periods of harmony cause it sounds sweeter after big battles. My sword is getting cold and his bullets are in the fridge. Or we make sex pause and this war continues between sheets.

How i understand love? I see love as the biggest level of challenge, as battle.

This love starts with discussion and finish with act. This contact start with critics and finish with kiss. This conversation starts with silence and finish with scream.

He is dangerous but never boring to me. For me, the biggest danger is boredom. After door closes, the last i want to see is his yawn face. Even if he insults me, it will prove me that he is still into me. Dead rattle is the worst, so that is how i see love, when partner pinch you and use needles, but after this he uses bandages to heal your wounds.

As someone said to me : “You really have no peace. Wild spirit, hard to obey. Like wild horse, and it is interesting to hangout with wild horse. “





An open letter to the ‘Fair Skinned Hypocrites’.

Being a girl, lady, woman is not an easy task in our society. The day we are born till the day we die, we are slammed with various taboos and rules as to how should we sit, stay, eat, breathe and live our lives. These norms and rules of our society are mostly meant not for our welfare but for the satisfaction of people around us so that our purity exists as a female. We face practices like female genital mutilation to doodh peeti in order to stay pure or minority in the world.

But, the worst of all, we face is the discrimination on the basis of our looks specially in relation to our skin colour. Why do we feel that fair skinned girls are prettier than the dark ones? Why is it logical to think that dark skin looks dirty in relation to the fair one? Why eligible bachelors mostly prefer girls with fair skin ? Why do you think that a dark skin women cannot achieve well in the fields of modelling, acting or any other beauty related scopes of profession ?

I don’t find the logic behind promoting cosmetic fairness creams and lotions as if being dark is ugly or evil or the saddest thing a person can have. Is it so ? Why do we even motivate advertises in relation to fair skin where women are shown with unnatural fairness which pretty much looks like as if someone has added a hallucinogen light on their faces.Since when being natural has been considered as ugly ?

And then those Indian Aunties, who thinks that being dark would lead a girl to stay forever unmarried. Please don’t forget there is a beautiful soul under that dark skin which is soft and bold.Don’t stop and stare.Lets just say these are ancestor’s genetics.Ohh so the colour is BLACK- My dear men when you close your eyes you see black which makes your night time.DARK is the chocolate you crave for.

Can’t you stop thinking about dark skin at all ? Don’t you realise that your so called desi sarcastic comments are actually making few girl’s self esteem way low. No, being dark is not KALMUHI.’The opposite of fair is dark and that is normal and lovely too’.With cosmetic companies humming the tune of lightening, brightening,being  dark is natural and beautiful. The only thing thats ugly over here, in this society is, our minds about skin colours and the narrow perception about beauty. We all are unique. There is a reason why God didn’t give us same faces or features. There is a reason why we are not alike. It’s because we all are unique and beautiful.So girls explore your beauty and just see-
Beauty of the heart

Beauty of the mind

Beauty of the spirit

Beauty of the soul

Beauty of the character

Beauty of the attitude

Beauty of knowing the inner you

To all those ladies with dark skin. You were born to make a difference. You are strong and confident. Do not let the world tell you that you are not beautiful or pretty or good enough. I request you to even avoid such negative people and vibes who makes you feel like a loser. You, my Dear, are born for greater things. You are your own strength. So, you need to keep going and NEVER STOP ACHIEVING GOOD THINGS IN LIFE.
#Stop Judging: Her Body Colour Doesn’t Decide Her Future.

-Vani 🙂

9 Truths About Yourself You Must Remember When Your Heart Feels Broken :)

To all the hurting hearts,

I want you to take a deep breath and hug yourself. Tight. Because I know how you feel. I know how you up every single day and fight off that pain in the centre of your chest. I know how you still celebrate the little things despite curling up into a ball every night with tears streaming down your cheeks. I admire the way you still choose happiness, even after waking up in the middle of those long hours and trying to breathe. Just so that you can fill up the hollow in your being. I am amazed at your stubbornness to continue seeing life as a beautiful thing, even amidst all those whirring questions without answers.

You, dearest humans, are beautiful. Your strength is what makes the flowers bloom brighter. Your soft hearts, in this sometimes-cruel world, is what gives us hope to stay soft, too.

And on days when you think you cannot go any further, I want to gently remind you of these 9 truths about your life and your worth:


1.Let no one force you to “move on”.

Your love is terribly precious and it does not go off with a switch. So take your time. Let it flow out of you, naturally. Don’t beat yourself up for healing slowly. Everyone has their own pace. Keep in accordance with yours.

2.You are worthy of everything beautiful.

Yes, you are. And you deserve only the very best. Do not let anyone convince you otherwise. Do not settle for anything or anyone who is not worthy of your glory. Push. Carve a magnificent path for your heart and invite only the best to come to you.

3.You are never alone.

Even in those moments when you feel like you are not being understood, just know you are. There is abundance surrounding you. Do not be afraid to ask your heart out. And there will always be those few people who love you unconditionally.

You truly are never alone.
 You are always loved.You, my dearest friend, are love itself.

4.You are irreplaceable. 

There is just ONE you. And no one could ever be you. No matter how hard they tried. No one could give and love like you do. Your awesomeness is exclusive.

You are irreplaceable and so is your love.

5.The universe works for you, not against you.

Yes, I know it’s tough to believe this right now. Maybe, you’ve lost your favourite person. But the Universe is always on your side. It is working for you. Just allow it some time to manifest the biggest miracles yet to come. And hey, it IS your BIGGEST fan.

6.You are enough.

‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘after…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘before…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘when…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘how…’ you answer.
‘as you are.’ says the universe.
‘why…’ you answer.
‘because you are happening now.
and your happening is beautiful.
the thing that both keeps me alive and brings me to my knees.
you don’t even know how exquisite you are.
as you are.’ says the universe through tears.

~ Nayyirah Waheed

7.Find your purpose. Make it your bliss.

What is it that gets your heart racing? What is that one thing or that odd bunch of things which makes you feel alive with a capital A? Follow it relentlessly. Mercilessly. Make it your purpose. Make it your goal.

8.Be gentle with yourself.

You are the universe. There are stars and galaxies within you. Be kind to yourself. Love yourself right. Remind yourself every single day of your inner beauty. Be patient with your journey. Be patient with your healing.

9.You are safe.

You are your home. You are your hero. And this universe holds you in a cocoon of love. You are safe. You are needed. You are taken care of.

Sweet soul, healing is a journey. And you deserve all your love. You, yes, you. As you are.


Not all magic is black. -Fireflies!

IMG_0614She doesn’t snarl. She smiles instead, but it is a half smile. She is hiding something, an imperfection. There is something about her teeth, the sides of them that she doesn’t want me to see. I am fascinated by this unseen flaw. I want to know what she is hiding. Perhaps this is what is missing from my life, some mysterious flaw that I won’t want to correct.

Dear You:Letting Go

 IMG_0598           If you are brave enough to say a good bye, very soon life will reward you with a new “Hello” !

And it rained.The clouds finally let go off everything that caused them pain. The heaviness, the burden,the ailment is finally over. They are light and free now. Free from anything that stops them from soaring high,up above the sky. They fly now. Free from constraints. Each falling raindrop carries with it the sweet–bitter memories of the cloud’s pain.

What I wonder is, aren’t the raindrops like the negative people in our lives? They judge us all the time. They try to bring us down. They restrict us from flying high. Their only motive is to not let us live peacefully. To cause pain. Pain which slowly turns into an ailment. When they can act like the raindrops,can’t we do what the clouds do?Can’t we stay away from them? Can’t we cut them off our lives?Can’t we let them go? Can’t we ignore them and soar high?

The only thing which revolves around my mind while thinking about these things is that; is letting go of someone who only harms you,so difficult? If no,then why do most of us fail to do so?